


Pining

by spacenquiet (nukarachacha)



Series: Life of a Pathfinder [4]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Drunkenness, Koji is a blabber mouth and a light weight lol, M/M, Mention of Multiple Partners, Mutual Pining, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Ryder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 08:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10567161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nukarachacha/pseuds/spacenquiet
Summary: Having the job of a Pathfinder takes up a lot of time, one that barely left any off time to relax and relieve stress. Vetra notices Ryder trying his hand at finding a partner to relieve his stress, ultimately leading up to taking him to a bar to get drunk. At least this way, he could think of something else instead of their Angaran squadmate that he just can't seem to get over.





	

Vetra rolled her eyes as she watched, painfully, as her Pathfinder flirted unashamedly with the Angara sniper keeping guard a few clicks away from the cavernous settlement post on Voeld. 

 

He was desperately trying to distance himself, and his feelings, from the Angara on their team and it was not working. The boy looked like he hadn’t gotten laid in years. Which was probably true, considering they were in cryo. Even so, the leader had horrible game and being in the distinct area of him trying to flirt was embarrassing enough.

 

He needed to get drunk. And fast.

 

After a few ‘pointers’ from the Angara sniper, Koji waved goodbye, cheeks warm from the close contact. Or from the cold, nobody could really tell. The crew headed back inside the warm enclosure of the nomad, Vetra taking shotgun before Peebee was able to.

 

“Hey, boss.” She began, closing the doors and strapping in as the engines rumbled to life, windows shaking off any formed ice once they got moving. Koji made a small hum as he payed close attention to the snowy roads. “Next time we’re on the Nexus, meet me at Vortex.”

 

A rustle followed by a few clattering noises came from the passenger seat behind the two up front, a purple gloved hand appearing on both sides of Vetra and Koji’s seats. “Is this a party? What are we celebrating?”

 

“It’s not a party.” Vetra chimed in, subharmonics flaring slightly as she pushed Peebee back into her seat. “Just a friendly get together to discuss some important things.” The Asari sulked in the back, Vetra raising a brow plate at the reaction. “Besides, you’re still not off the hook after what you’ve done.”

 

“I had already apologized for that.” Came the reply.

 

Vetra nudged Koji lightly, drawing his attention with a quiet  _ Watch this. _ “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about that  _ other  _ thing you pulled and thought you got away with.”

 

At the Turian female’s words, Peebee straightened up, eyes wide with shock. “W-what other thing?”

 

“You know what she’s talking about.” Koji added, trying his hardest not to smile. “We all know about it.”

 

The Asari practically shrieked in embarrassment, gloved hands gripping tight to the sides of her temples. “I’m sorry I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, it was an accident Koji, I swear! I was going to put it back but--” 

 

“Damage has been done.” the Pathfinder replied, confused in all hell. “But you’re still going to be in time out when we get back. An hour with Lexi, got it?”

 

The conversation ended with Vetra holding in her bubbling laughter and Peebee writing an I.O.U out for Ryder to replace whatever happened, leaving a very confused Ryder to drive all three back to the ship.

 

Once on board the Tempest, Vetra let Liam, Gil and Cora into what she had planned, hoping if one of them failed, the other three could be the next best wingman. For the sake of their Pathfinder. 

 

Obviously, Jaal was left out of the loop, knowing involving him would just complicate things. He would be somewhere far away, where he wouldn’t encounter a drunk, and probably horny, Ryder that would most likely come onto him only to be rejected once again. Thus causing them to fail their mission. Drack was told very little, Vetra feeling as though he was a bit of a blabber mouth in these types of situations. That or he would just end up causing them both to drink until they both pass out, which would lead to another failed mission. 

 

“Hey, Vetra.” Koji called as he passed by her above on the bridge. “We’re heading to the Nexus in a few. See you at Vortex?”

 

“Meet you there.” She answered back, holding in a smile as Liam and Gil, who were the closest in the area to hear, shared a look and a couple of excited winks amongst themselves. Lexi only shook her head before heading back into the infirmary, shocked to see Peebee inside the room, toying around with some expensive medical equipment. 

 

Operation  **_Dick Ryding_ ** was a go. Gil’s idea for the mission name.

 

\---

 

The music was pulsing inside Vortex, other customers idly chatting around the bar, others that were more inebriated hugging the wall in order to keep their cool drunken composure. Vetra was leaning on the bar on one end, awaiting her friend and team leader. Sadly, she had seen Drack talking with Koji as they exited the Tempest, watching from afar as he slapped the human’s back and left with a cheer and a point of fingers and thumbs up.

 

Mission  **_Dick Ryding_ ** was already a bust when it hadn’t even started. Vetra had to keep trying, she had to. For the honor of everybody’s sex life out in the Andromeda galaxy, she had to get the human Pathfinder laid!

 

“Yo, Vetra.” Koji, appearing suddenly next to her at the bar, greeted with a smile on his face.  _ Oh this pure boy. _ Vetra sighed, holding back the urge to pet the other.  _ I’m gonna get you some dick tonight if it’s the last thing I do. _ “ _ Water _ we drinking today?”

 

Vetra groaned at the pun before ordering the two a round of drinks.  _ This mission will probably be harder than I thought.. _

 

\--- 

 

An hour passed and the two were already on their third drink, idly chatting with her leader as she scoped out the patrons for someone who looked suitable enough. But Spirits, was it Turian night at the club or where were all the humans? Most of the bar patrons were eyeing her up and down rather than her friend, which was making her job a lot harder than it already was, and not in the way she needed it to be.

 

“You look nervous.” Koji’s voice brought her back from wherever she was looking. “Something you wanna say, Vetra?” 

 

Oh Spirits, he was onto her. Drack snitched, he had had to! “No, nothing too big. Just, uh, wondering if we should take a round of shots next.” She looked down to her cup full of bright blue liquid.

 

Koji downed the last of his with a small smile. “Before that, though, I feel like I need to clear the air, in case you’re expecting something of me.”

 

He did know. He had to.

 

“Vetra, I’m flattered, but I only like alien men.”

 

He didn’t know. The mission could still be saved. 

 

Vetra breathed a sigh of relief, one that practically shook her chair when she leaned back on it heavily. “Oh thank the Spirits.” 

 

“Wha--”

 

“Barkeep!! A round of shots for this very gay, very into male aliens only, man!”

 

“Vetra!”

 

It took a second round of shots for Koji to let loose, suddenly drawing the attention of a few onlookers. Sadly, none approached him before the doors to the bar closed. A few numbers and emails were slipped into Vetra and Koji’s hands. All for Koji of course.

 

It seemed that mission  **_Dick Ryding_ ** would not be a complete success for that night, though it would hopefully lead to a few new eligible Turian partners for the afamed Pathfinder to invite up to his cabin for a little one on one. Knowing the shyness from Koji, they would just end up talking and ultimately lead to long distance dating. Just the thought made Vetra want to hurl.

 

“To infinity--” Koji slurred, being dragged up the steps to the Tempest by his best pal Vetra. “--and beyond!”

 

Vetra chuckled, closing the ship's cargo bay closed for the night. There were a few lights still on, showing Vetra the way to find somewhere to dump Koji off to rest, as well as give her an insight on who remained awake. 

 

The door to Jaal’s choice of area was open and lit, yet empty; the lights at the head of the ship were off, Kallo and Suvi most likely off the ship and sleeping in their choice of sleep area, other than that, the rest of the crew was still awake and nearby. 

 

Peebee was the first to step up excitedly, glancing back and forth between Ryder and Nyx. “You know I have to.”

 

“No.”

 

“Hey, it’s the alien from Mars~” Koji laughed, pressing his index finger directly onto Peebee’s nose. “Boop!”

 

Liam was next to approach. “He. Is. Pissed.” 

 

“Vetra, what’d you do?” Cora asked, walking forward before immediately snatching away a marker from Peebee’s hands. “You were supposed to get him laid, not dead drunk!” 

 

“The bar closed on us! Probably because we drank them empty but..” She dug through the pocket of a half awake Koji’s hoodie. “He got numbers! When he comes back to his senses, he’s gonna have the time of his life!”

 

Liam raised a hand. “Uh.. by helping these guys get theirs started. Did you read these? They’re just notes asking my man Koj for help. What a bunch of arseholes.”

 

Peebee hummed next to the four, tapping a new marker against her hand. “Bummer. But it’s what happens when you limit yourself with preferences. Never really understood it much myself why anyone would do that.”

 

“It’s not like that at all.” Liam retorted, brows furrowed slightly. “You wouldn’t date a boring person who’s the complete opposite of you just because you have no limits, right?”

 

Koji groaned, Vetra helping him stand straighter. The room was spinning.

 

“You got me there.” Peebee replied in return, moving out of the way for Koji to walk through.

 

“I’m gonna get some air..” he hiccupped, covering his mouth in a failed attempt to stifle the noise. Liam followed close behind, watching over him and making sure he didn’t fall face first onto the floor. 

 

The rest of the crew watched as the two stepped out of the ship and into the ‘night air’ on the Nexus, agreeing Liam could handle taking care of Koji until he passed out. Before they went their separate ways, Cora took away the marker their Asari team mate was trying to hide before she got up to no good. 

 

\---

 

Outside, Koji breathed in deeply the fresh air their scientists worked so hard on keeping clean. He felt completely buzzed and dizzy, holding onto the railing in order to keep his balance.

 

It was a good feeling after a good month or so of being a successful Pathfinder and doing successful Pathfinder jobs non-stop. The difference from being constantly stressed at the beginning to now was refreshing. 

 

“You good there, mate?” Liam placed a gentle reassuring hand on his leader’s shoulder, letting the other know he was nearby. Koji hadn’t even realized the other was there. He didn’t even know how long he was there for either.

 

Koji nodded, giving the other a drunken smile and a wavering thumbs up. “Air good.” 

 

Liam laughed. “You gonna be good heading to bed by yourself?” 

 

“Sofa. Better.”

 

“Sure. Mi casa es tu casa Pathfinder.” Liam laughed again, helping the other trudge back into the ship. Guess he was sleeping in the barracks tonight. 

 

The leader groaned a happy groan at the hard, yet surprisingly soft cushions of the dirty sofa he landed on, stomach heaving slightly before settling back down. It felt like he was alone on the ship despite Liam having dropped him off before heading to the barracks a minute ago. The silence aboard the ship was unsettling, yet peaceful in a weird way. 

 

Until he heard footsteps stepping closer just as he was about to close his eyes and sleep. 

 

He made a groan at being woken up, eye cracking a smidge to see a dark figure pausing by the open door, dimmed ship lights covering the face of who it was.

 

Koji knew that silhouette anywhere, however.

 

“Ryder.” Jaal greeted, stepping closer to inspect the state his friend was in. “You are drunk it seems.” 

 

Was that a smile? “ ‘m tryin to sleep ‘ere buddy.” Koji chuckled, covering his eyes with his hand. 

 

“I should let you rest then.” The Angara said, turning away.

 

Before he could move, a hand darted out and grabbed hold of the Angara’s own. “Don’t go.” Koji hiccupped, small hand pulling the other closer once again. 

 

Realizing, as drunk as he was, at what he had done, grabbing hold of Jaal without his permission, Koji pulled away, hand dropping to the side of the couch. A blush, not due to his drunkenness, bloomed on his cheeks. “God your hands are huge.”

 

To his surprise, Jaal sat next to the other on the couch, placing the bare feet Koji had on the seat of the couch atop his lap. It earned a quiet squeal as well as made the other hide his red face from Jaal’s view with his hands. 

 

“Did you not want me this close?” Jaal teased, amused at the other’s silly, drunken reaction. 

 

“I’d like it if you were even closer, ya big lug.” Koji drunkenly laughed, earning a hearty laugh from the one he was teasing. 

 

“Ryder, may I ask you a question?” 

 

“By all means.” Koji bit at a finger he had near his mouth, teeth glaringly white shining in the dim light as he smiled. 

 

“Why do you wish to become physical with me?” Jaal’s large hand tapped at one of Koji’s ankles, warmth seeping into the other like a furnace. 

 

It took Koji only a split second before he came up with an answer. “Because you’re hot.” He said with a shake of his head, as if it was the easiest and most obvious answer. 

 

“You are actually, one of the few alien dudes out here, I find hot in both body and perso--” A hiccup. “--soul.” 

 

“I do not understand.”

 

Koji ran a hand down his face, trying and failing at getting rid of the bright red color on it. There was no solution to his woes with Jaal. “Is me likin ya not enough a reason to wanna fuck? I’ve fucked other dudes out here just because I thought they were hot, but you’re a catch amigo.” He fidgeted with the blanket tangled around his top half, the thing almost as torn up as Liam’s couch. “I jus’.. really like you Jaal. You-- you’re so open with yer feelin’s-- s’cool. An’ ya always complime--” Another hiccup. “--Compliment my shootin’.”

 

Jaal was looking down, staring at the hand he had around the other’s ankle. “You love me.”

 

A noise the sound of someone letting air out of a wheel burst out of Koji, the Pathfinder’s lips pursed as he made the noise, eyes wide and face red in embarrassment. 

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

Koji shook his head harshly, whipping his hair out of place from its usual style. “No. I don’. Vetra would get mad at me if I still was.” He rubbed his hand against his face again, breathing in harshly from his nose. He made to get off the couch only to stop half way off when Jaal grabbed onto him, preventing him from leaving.

 

“What does it matter what she or the others think?” Jaal asked, tone harsh with underlying anger and frustration. 

 

The way the sound of Jaal’s voice rumbled caused Koji’s face to flush a deeper red, eyes hooding over with desire. A small dopey smile pulled at his lips as he turned on the couch, straddling Jaal’s lap. It caused the Angara’s eyes to widen, as well as cause a dusting to color his purple cheeks.

 

“Is that an invitation, big guy?” Koji winked, leaning close to Jaal’s neck, nuzzling at his jaw with his nose. It caused the other to flinch and begin to breathe heavily, large alien hands holding onto him by his sides. 

 

“Ryder--” Jaal groaned, taking in a harsh breath when he felt the other place a kiss to his skin. “Ryder, you are inebriated.” 

 

“I’m sober enough for the room to stop spinning.” Koji admitted, pulling away from the other to look at him in the eye. There was a sparkle behind the Pathfinder’s eyes, hiding a trickster personality behind them.

 

Before he could say anything, Koji leaned forward, lips brushing against Jaal’s. It caused the other’s hold to flinch against him, hands sliding down to Koji’s thighs.

 

Once Jaal finally leaned towards the kiss, Koji pulled away, tongue sticking out. “You are teasing me too much Ryder.”

 

Koji smiled a small smile, eyes turning downcast as he looked at how close they were at now compared to a few months ago when Jaal first rejected him. “I need to know that you are serious about this and not.. confused about me.” He took in a deep breath. “I also feel the need to tell you things. To clear the air.”

 

Jaal waited patiently for the other to continue, the hands he had on his thighs now to each side of his own legs.

 

“During the time from when I first woke up and became Pathfinder to you rejecting me I’ve had multiple recurring partners who I met with multiple times recently and most recently used to get off at the thought of having sex with you.” The words were rushed out with a breath of air, Koji holding what little breath he had in his lungs inside as he waited for a reaction.

 

“I think.. I think that is why I am so hesitant.” Jaal murmured, eyes cast down. “You love so freely.. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up.”

 

A pitiful laugh bubbled in Koji’s chest, hands tangling themselves in his dark hair.

 

“For me.. I never got to love easily. Love and intimacy.. was very limited for.. me. It’s why I prefer aliens over humans really.” He raised his hand and air quoted, body swaying backwards at the movement. “ ‘Gender constructs’ are different with aliens, while with humans it’s still kinda.. Binary.”

 

A dull feeling fell over the room, Jaal looking down, remembering something from before. Whatever was on the brink of happening was gone, both coming back to their senses.

 

“I--” Jaal began after snapping out of whatever he was thinking. “We are rushing into this. You are still intoxicated. I shouldn’t have--”

 

The weight of Koji’s body fell against Jaal’s shoulder, the Angara taken by surprise. “R-Ryder?” The sound of even breathing was his only answer.

 

The Pathfinder’s eyes were closed shut, a red bloom of blush still evident on his cheeks, as well as the strong smell of alcohol on his breath. Jaal placed a hand at the back of Koji’s head, holding him in place as he tried to remove himself from the other. 

 

Tried as he might, Koji clung onto him like his Pyjak, Momo, did to him. Seeing no other option, he pulled a nearby blanket over them, listening to Koji sleep as Jaal tried his hardest to as well.

 

\---

 

“I don’t know if this is a good sign, or a bad one.” Liam wondered aloud, keeping his voice to a mere whisper. Vetra and Cora could do nothing but stare.

 

Jaal was snoring away on the couch with a still knocked out Koji on top of him, practically straddling the other in his sleep. Multiple drawings in smudged purple marker littered both their faces, all three knowing exactly who the culprit was. 

 

“One good thing at least.” Vetra chimed in, brow plates and mandibles moving animatedly. “They’re not naked.”

 

A snort brought their attention back towards the two on the couch, watching as the two sleepyheads started waking up. “Nuh..” Koji yawned, falling onto the floor, feet tangled in the blanket. “Coffee..”

 

Cora snorted a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. “Sleep well you two?”

 

Jaal groaned, rubbing at a knot in his neck. “Mmh.. No.”

 

The three held in their laughter as they watched their crew members fumble around, still half asleep and hungover, at least in Koji’s case. How they didn’t notice the drawings on their faces was beyond them.

 

“Coffee’s brewing in the kitchen.” Liam offered, making way for their Pathfinder as he left the room, Jaal following close behind.

 

The three followed them, waiting patiently for them to realize.

 

Koji took a sip of the brown drink, basking in the bitter sobering taste to his palette. Jaal was drinking his own Angaran styled drink, something that looked and smelled similarly to tea, opting out to sitting on the edge of the kitchen table.

 

Koji could not remember anything from last night no matter how much he tried, the throbbing sting of a hangover preventing him from doing so. He glanced at the floor, peeking at Jaal’s feet. “Did I say anything weird.. last night?”

 

“You mean aside from what you normally say?” Jaal chuckled, taking another sip of his drink. “No.”

 

Vetra, Liam and Cora glanced between each other before returning to watching the two in anticipation.  _ Nothing happened then _ .

 

“Oh good. I can’t remember anything from last nigh--IGHT?!” Once Koji looked up from the floor he burst out laughing, causing Jaal too look up while taking another sip of his drink, the drawings on Koji’s face causing him to spit out his drink in laughter.

 

At least everything was back to normal now, even if the mutual pining was still there.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Koji and Jaal are going to have a happy ending, I swear! Just gotta.. torture them a bit with mutual pining first :)


End file.
